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Why Dads are Important
Luke 15:11-32… Here is the story of the Prodigal Son (or, as the real hero is the Dad, it could have been called The Parable of the Yearning Father). This is probably one of the greatest short stories ever told (and re-told).
Every one of us has encountered the four distinct relationships brought out in the parable of the Prodigal Son - self, things, others and God. It’s a story that encompasses all four. The youngest son comes to his father and says (in effect): “I wish was somewhere else. I can't find happiness hanging out with the people around here. Give me one-third of your goods and property, as it’s coming to me anyway! And also sell a portion of the land we've inherited from our forefathers. I want my inheritance now! Only money can make me happy.”
The father did what his son had asked and sold the piece of land. Even though he shouldn’t have for this purpose, because in that part of the world (at that time) you could be severely punished for squandering your inheritance. Do you think the father’s decision was wise? What would you have done? I’m sure many of you have had to make agonising decisions regarding your own children. But this father probably thought his son could learn many useful lessons from such a life-changing experience. So he proceeded to sell off part of his land and gave the proceeds to his youngest son. However, the young man quickly learned some hard lessons.
Firstly, when you've got money don't trust those who quickly and superficially call you friend (the ‘hangers-on’).
What’s more, look at the job he ended up doing! Jewish law prohibited any contact with pigs, let alone being the pigs keeper. And the food (the pods) he was prepared to eat was the fruit of the carob tree, used mostly for animal fodder - an awful taste, but sometimes eaten by the very poor or destitute. But it was in the stench of the pigpen that this young man “came to himself” (a the term used in Greek for ‘emerging from a coma’). Suddenly the old farm and the predictable way of life was more appealing than he could ever imagine.
So he began to think it through and decided to put a speech together for when he next met his dad, offering to become a hired servant. In Jesus' day hired hands earned a denarius for a day's work - just enough to feed a small family for one day. It was a precarious existence, and it would have been unheard of to find a legitimate son asking his father if he could become one of the hired servants. Verse 19, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.”
Verse 20, “So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Notice, the father was already out there looking for him (scanning the horizon). In an ancient Middle Eastern community the houses are in the centre and other buildings around them, then a wall, then the open fields. Every day the father would go out into the fields to look for his boy, maybe to escort him past the jeering mob to the safety of his home. But when the day finally came, he ran towards his lost son with great excitement. Note, old men in that culture did not run - it was beneath their dignity.
Verse 21, The son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” The young man had this speech all prepared, but the father wasn't listening! Before the boy could say another thing the father called out to the real servants.
Verses 22-24, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” So they began to celebrate... The father wasn't so much interested in ‘why’ he had come back but only that he had come back.
Jesus had taught, “acceptance precedes repentance.” This father had fully accepted his rebellious son even before his return or repentance! Acceptance in this case came before confession. As an old saying puts it: “Those who are seeking God have already been found by Him.” One of the most beautiful aspects of the Christian life is that God loves you before you change, as you change, or whether you change or not. Do you believe that?
A clue to the true meaning of this parable can be found at the beginning of the story. Jesus was hanging around with all the riff-raff, the tax collectors and sinners; and the self-righteous Pharisees and religious people didn't like it (verses:1-2). There are two groups of people in the world: those who are sinners and who know it, and those who are sinners and don't know it (or don't want to know it). So Jesus told a story about a certain man who had two sons. Actually, they were both lost: the main difference was that the younger brother externalised his alienation and figured that location could fix his identity crisis.
However, the older brother was also alienated, but internalised his discontent and stayed at home, and would have been a pretty miserable character to live with. Whenever his father gave him a hug he'd probably stiffen up and be unresponsive. We learn about the younger brother's sins only from the older brother: he describes him as 'your son', not 'my brother'.
These two brothers are like many of you us: sometimes you blame others, like the elder brother, but then sometimes you take full responsibility for your own actions, as the younger brother did. These are the two basic attitudes to life: blaming and repenting. And you can choose to do either! When some parents allocate blame they say, “Oh, kids these days don’t have any respect.” But it’s not necessarily the kids fault! Their value system is created and instilled by their parents.
As mentioned, blaming is the opposite of repenting. When you blame, you offload responsibility to others - on the situation, or the kids' friends, or their teachers, or their schooling, or TV, or even the church. In today’s society, we have enough problems without parents allocating blame to their offspring! There is already enough pressure on our children to wander from the straight and narrow path. Therefore, every parent is expected to accept responsibility for the outcome of their own parenting. I believe the father in the story we’ve just heard fully accepted his son – but he also fully accepted responsibility for his son!
Verse 31, “My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”
So why are dads so important?
Fathers are one of the great, often untapped, resources in the lives of our children. The way a father holds, touches, talks to, and plays with a child significantly effects that child's overall development. In this respect, we have our Heavenly Father to hold up as a true example. God loves to be intimate with His children. He loves to spend quality time with them. He is interested in every detail of each individual’s life - even the most minor incidents.
All through the Bible God encourages a unique concern for the “fatherless.” This emphasis may reaffirm how vitally important the ‘father figure’ is in family life. Studies have shown that substitute fathers in organizational relationships can go a long way toward meeting the emotional needs of fatherless boys.
Daughters also need to know their dads. A girl learns from her dad what men are like. Many believe that girls subconsciously seek a husband like their father. So, become the kind of husband you want your daughter to marry. It will help her adjust successfully to the husband God gives her. If you deprive her of your companionship, the resentment she feels will be transferred to other men, even to her husband. And the weight of your failure will rest heavily upon you for years to come.
Isn’t all this too much for one mere mortal to be, and do? Yes, it is! The demands on his time will be relentless. The drain on his emotional resources will be unending. But the primary role God requires is for the dad to be a man of God.
This is how every dad can get the strength, wisdom and inspiration to be a successful parent. His authority to manage the home comes from God. Some dad’s are not fit to manage their homes because they are not in submission to the Word and will of God. They can never be all that God wants them to be so long as the flow of His power is restricted by a rebellious nature. Jesus taught us the secret of living in fellowship with Him - to live just as a branch lives in the vine.
Then He said, “If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you” (John 15:7). The formula for our success as fathers is filling our minds with His Word. As we grow into His likeness, we shall fulfil our roles as fathers with wisdom and joy. “I have told you this,” Jesus added, “so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:11). Fatherhood is a joy when it’s being inspired by God’s Word!
The father of the prodigal son (in Luke 15) was full of love and compassion. He loved unconditionally and never allocated blame. He accepted both his sons - as they are. A great Dad!
CONCLUSION: Dads, Grandfathers, Dads-to-be: would you like to stand and I'd like to pray for all of you.
Lord, bless these awesome men of God. May they be good priests in their homes, leading their children to a living faith in the living God. And when we stand before you, our King and our Judge, may we all hear you say, “Well done, good and faithful father. Your children have delighted in you and you are eternally blessed. I am well pleased with you.” Amen |
Chris Demetriou, 21/06/2009 |
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